Time Machine

time-machine500

Question: I need a time machine to go backwards 2 days in order to reflect last-minute decisions.

Answer:
People just want to wait until the past possible second to commit to a decision, but then, they want everything else to fall into place instantaneously to reflect it. The result is that vanishing slice of time that you’ll have to reflect all these decisions in the documentation.

It’s actually quite possible to make a time machine to go back to the age of the dinosaurs. It’s much harder to go back in smaller increments, like an hour before the lottery jackpot drawing. Solutions involving miniaturized wormholes and recursive pocket universes or new particles are theoretically possible.

However, precision down to the minute is hard to guarantee. You also have to be careful about WHERE you end up. Go back too far, say a million years, and you could be inside a hill that wasn’t there when you left, or floating over a canyon.

Another solution might be to “borrow” time or even “manufacture” it, rather than trying to travel back and forth within the shared pool of time used by consensus reality. Handling loose time is not for sissies, though – very easy to get too close to it and age a century between one breath and the next.

Or, you could simply freeze everyone else while you work for a couple of days to get everything straightened out. This is tempting, because what’s to stop you from removing everyone’s clothing so that they all wake up naked with their underwear on the floor? Better yet, just draw embarrassing cartoons on their buttocks with Sharpies and then dress them back up again.

The real-world option, which is to stall and try to ignore the constant barrage of messaging about “Is it ready yet?”, just seems so lame compared with the fantasy.

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