House of Cards

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Question: I’ve finally got everyone here convinced that tech writers have magick powers. But now it’s kinda backfired, they’re asking me for impossible stuff that’s hard to fake.

Answer:
You’ve started down a slippery slope. The best choice is to just keep going, like former Toronto mayor Rob Ford. Think of it as an exercise in both creativity and personal chutzpah.

For huge projects, the best thing is to keep stringing people along until the project goes away on its own. Produce smaller, tangible excerpts every so often, and keep sprinkling developer docs with fairy dust (aka “formatting”).

Also remember that even genie powers have limits. Genies can only grant 3 wishes per user. After that, you can throw the lamp away. Hmm, this doesn’t seem like the right analogy here, though. What you want to impress is that while you *do* have magick powers, they come at such a steep price that it’s really in their own best interest to save it for emergencies.

Of course that can backfire, too, since everything’s an emergency all the time. No one can actually tell when something’s a real emergency due to all the sudden “ultra mega hyper urgent” asks coming from various top echelons.

The top echelons are smart people who’ve been driven insane by the pressure of trying to hold their company together. They’re the ones who really need magick powers.

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