Buddha of Rage


Question: Yesterday in yoga, the instructor told us to dedicate our practice “for the benefit of all beings” but there are a lot of beings out there, and I’m just not feelin’ it.

Yoga teachers earnestly put forth that we’re working to benefit all beings, everywhere, but no one asks about what happens when those beings are actively working against us. Why, exactly, are we sweating and breathing for the benefit of flaming assholes?

If these said flaming assholes are actively oppressing us, then our actively wishing for their well-being is a form of Stockholm Syndrome. Unhealthy at best.

If you ask, “Well how about just SOME beings?” people will look at you like you are crazy. The only people who will understand you will be crotchety old New York Jews, who’ll be asking you why you’re sitting on the floor, don’t you have a sofa?

Don’t ask “So should I be wishing joy unto all the plague bacteria of the world? What about the Ebola virus?” Instead, I quote from the movie “Fiddler on the Roof”, which takes place during a very anti-Semitic time in Czarist Russia:

Congregation: Rabbi, what is the appropriate blessing for the Czar?
Rabbi (after some thought): God bless and keep the Czar…
… far away from us!

In a general sense, yes we are all part of the same universe, or multiverse if you’re a Terry Pratchett fan. Nonetheless, I find that wishing well unto all beings is an advanced exercise and should not be attempted by novices.

Late Breaking Realization: This unenlightened worm just remembered that the correct formula specifies the *liberation* of all beings. Theoretically, a liberated being would be one that was free from all attachment, meaning it wouldn’t feel the need to harass anyone on the bus any more.

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