Question:
The other day my boss, at this 5-person firm, pulled out a penknife and threatened me with it because I had asked for a vacation. Is this a problem or is it normal?
Answer:
It’s both. Petty workplace threats and bullying are pretty common, which passes for “normal” in most everyday situations. And therein lies the problem.
Question:
What do I do when my manager puts himself down in front of me? He does a lot, like he’s angling for some reaction.
Answer:
This is a classic double-bind. If you agree, you’re essentially saying he’s an idiot. If you disagree, that’s insubordination. I’d deflect the remark with some clever non-sequitur like “Did you know cats can vomit at will?” and wait a beat. Then look away and say, “So, about the project plan…”
Question: Our work team has these long in-person conference meetings and I can’t seem to stay awake.
Answer:
Sometimes, the appearance of being awake is enough, in which case Salvador Dali has some interesting gadgets to prop open your melting eyelids.
Question:
So I joined this great new company and promptly got a huge crush on the head boss. I really like working there. He helped me out during a life emergency, too. We danced around the whole professionalism thing and hooked up for a minute, kind of while he had a live-in girlfriend. And yet, if I had to ask myself “Would you rather have him come over for a booty call, or should he finish that damn permit submittal?” I’d of course say get the fucking permit.
– Feeling Like a Side Dish
Dear Side,
You already know the answer to this one: DTMFA. Your guy is essentially married to his business, which is actually how it should be. There’s this clip from an old Charlie Chaplin movie where he’s roller-skating on the edge of a balcony, blindfolded, backwards, looks like he’s going to fall any second but somehow he escapes at the last possible moment, over and over.
Art Before Science 