Question:
I have to deliver something interim and everything’s still up in the air.
Answer: When things are in doubt, use vaguification.
Vaguification
Reply
Monthly Archives: June 2016
The Slack You Cut Others
Question: I have to get sign-off from Safety and Legal before releasing this document, but they aren’t responding to my phone calls and emails. I’m committed to a deadline I can’t meet!
Answer:
You must escalate to management immediately. Include the PM in charge of the project. Don’t try to solve it yourself. Take the long-term view: eventually, EVERYTHING is a self-correcting problem.
How the Fuck Would I Know?
Question: How do I answer intrusive interview questions? They just make my skin crawl.
Answer:
Yeah, interviewers always ask “What gets you out of bed in the morning?” and no one wants to hear you say, “Percocet”.
Einstein Couldn’t Get Hired Here
Question:
How can anyone celebrate genius when no one has time to do any actual thinking? We have so many team meetings that I hardly have time to get my work done, much less think about it.
Answer:
Imagine a company with “genius” branding all over the place. Then, Albert Einstein himself comes in as a candidate for an interview. Maybe he fell through a time warp and still thinks it’s 1945.
The Writing on the Wall
Question: During my last performance review, my manager told me that no one reads my documentation, that it’s just an annoying check box for regulatory compliance. I know people do use it, because they ask me where to find it and sometimes they re-use the content. Am I wasting my time?
Answer:
Yes.
I Feel Your Pain
Question: What do I do if an urgent request comes out of nowhere and it’s something so major that it would literally take months?
Answer:
You must hypnotize the requestor into wanting what YOU want to give them, instead of the thing they’re asking for.
Art Before Science 